‘When I was in Orlando with my wife and two little children it was the happiest I have been in years cos (sic) I wasn’t gambling, I hate myself when I gamble! I hate it.
‘Please help me God. I need to pay everyone back and get my wife and kids a house. God help me.’
Merson also revealed his addiction to gambling has cost him over £7million.
And, hearing back the words he wrote for himself, Merson welled up before saying: ‘It is sad. In lockdown it was scary.
‘You’re watching it and my brain was telling me I’ve saved enough money to get a deposit for a house, to get us out of rented accommodation.
‘And watching the news… as an addict I have to keep on watching stuff, and the news was blowing my mind.
‘Addiction talks to you, and it’s like “we’re not getting out of this. We’ll be in lockdown forever, this is it. We need a house and the only way we’re going to do that is chasing the money”. I lost everything.’
Writing for the Daily Mail, Merson said that, at the pinnacle of his playing career during the 1990s, his addictions became out of control and he would ‘go all in’.
‘I didn’t stop until, eventually, I’d lost everything I’d ever had – close to £7 million, including houses, cars, marriages, my entire pension and my self-respect,’ he wrote.